Tired of the apps? Where people over 40 are meeting now

If the apps have worn you out, you're in good company. In a Forbes Health survey of 1,000 recent app users, 77% of Gen X and 69% of Baby Boomers said they feel burned out at least sometimes. The most common reason was simple: it's hard to find a good connection there (Global Dating Insights).

Here's the part people forget. Most adults over 50 didn't meet their partner on an app at all. Among partnered Americans 50 and older, only 6% met their significant other online (Pew Research Center). Everyone else met in rooms, at tables and through people they already knew.

Those rooms are filling up again. Singles events on Eventbrite doubled between 2022 and 2025, and attendance jumped 85% in 2024 alone (Axios). Even the apps have noticed. Tinder now runs in-person events in cities across the U.S. and Europe (Match Group).

So where do you actually go? Below are five ways people over 40 are meeting now, what each one costs, who it suits, and how to find one near you. You can keep an app on your phone and still try one of these. Nothing here asks you to delete anything.

Five ways people are meeting now

1. Speed dating, sorted by age

Speed dating is back, and it's far less awkward than its reputation. Between May 2023 and April 2024, 57% of the singles events on Eventbrite were speed dating nights (Eventbrite).

A typical evening looks like this one in Duluth, Minnesota: eight short dates of six or seven minutes each, a drink included, ages 35 to 45, for about $50 (Perfect Duluth Day). You tick the names you'd like to see again, and you only hear about the matches that go both ways.

Who it suits: people who want to meet several new faces in one evening and like knowing everyone in the room is single and in their age range.

Tip: pick an event with a set age range, such as "40 to 55" or "over 50." It removes the guesswork.

Where to look: search Eventbrite for "speed dating" plus your city and age range, or check our events page, which lists the ones we've checked. Local wine bars and breweries often host them on weeknights.

2. Dinners and supper clubs

Some hosts seat a small group of strangers around one table and let the conversation do the work. A few are made for singles. Others, like Timeleft's Wednesday dinners, are about meeting new people in general, and the company says plainly that it isn't a dating platform (Tasting Table). You usually pay a booking fee and then your own meal.

Who it suits: people who find one-on-one first dates tiring and are better across a table with good food and a few others.

Tip: a friendship dinner is still a good place to start. Plenty of people meet someone through a friend they made last month.

Where to look: ask at restaurants you like whether they host communal dinners, look for "singles dinner" or "supper club" listings in your city, and check apps like Timeleft if they run in your area.

3. Clubs and classes

Running clubs, walking groups, cooking classes, dance lessons, book clubs, choirs. None of them are about dating, and that's what makes them work. You see the same people every week, conversation happens on its own, and you get to know someone before anyone asks for a phone number.

Who it suits: people who want something slower and are happy to give it a few months.

Tip: choose something you'd enjoy even if you met nobody. Then the evening is never wasted.

Where to look: your library's events calendar, the city parks and recreation guide, community college evening classes, and local running or walking shops, which often host free weekly group runs.

4. Volunteering, faith and community groups

Food banks, park cleanups, museum guiding, church and synagogue groups, local campaigns. You meet people who care about the same things you do, which is a better starting point than a shared taste in photos.

Who it suits: people for whom shared values come first, and anyone who wants to feel useful while they're at it.

Tip: go regularly. One visit won't do much; six visits make you a familiar face.

Where to look: VolunteerMatch and your local food bank's website list regular shifts. Faith groups often run social evenings for single members, so ask the office what's on.

5. Matchmakers

If time is the scarcest thing you have, or you'd simply rather someone else did the searching, a matchmaker meets you, learns what you want and introduces you to people one at a time. Prices vary widely. Traditional firms often charge from about $5,000 a year to $50,000 or more (RetirementLiving), and some newer services cost much less.

Who it suits: busy people, private people and anyone who has tried the apps and wants a person in the middle.

What to ask any matchmaker: do you verify every member, how many introductions will I get, what happens if I don't like them, and how do I cancel?

How to choose

Start with two honest questions.

How much time do you have each week? Under an hour points to a matchmaker. A free evening now and then suits speed dating or a dinner. A regular slot every week suits a club, a class or volunteering.

How do you feel in a room of strangers? If it lights you up, try speed dating first. If it drains you, pick something with an activity in the middle, like cooking or walking, so you're never just standing there.

Then try one thing for a month before you judge it. The first evening is always the strangest.

How to make the first event easier

• Arrive ten minutes early. The room is quieter, the host has time for you, and you won't walk into a crowd that has already formed little groups.
• Have one easy opener ready. "What brought you here tonight?" works everywhere, and almost everyone has a story.
• Bring a friend to non-dating events. Leave them at home for speed dating, where everyone is there on their own.
• Set a small goal. Talk to three people. That's a successful night, whatever happens after.
• Go again. The second visit is often when things click, because by then you're relaxed and people recognize you.

Staying safe at events

Meeting in a busy room is one of the safest ways to start, but a few habits still help. Get there and home on your own. Keep your drink with you. Share your first name only at first, and keep your full name and address for once you know someone better. If anyone at an event asks you for money, or soon after it, step back and talk to someone you trust.

Your next step

Find singles events near you on our events page, where every listing is checked before it goes up. Or take our two-minute quiz and we'll tell you which of these five fits you best right now.