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Story guidelines

The short version

  • Tell us something real that happened to you while dating again. Good, funny, awkward or hard all count.
  • Use a first name or a pen name. Never a surname.
  • Leave out anything that could identify someone else, unless they've said yes.
  • We read every story, edit it lightly, and send you the final version. Nothing goes live until you approve it.
  • You can take your story down at any time. It comes off Datelyst within 2 business days.
  • We never pay for stories, and we never reward good reviews.

When you're ready, share your story here.

What we're looking for

We publish stories from readers who are dating again: after a divorce, after losing a partner, as a single parent, or after years away from it. The best stories are specific. One date, one conversation, one decision, one thing you'd tell a friend in the same spot.

Some ideas:

  • the first date after a long time, and what surprised you;
  • telling your kids, or your kids meeting someone new;
  • a scam you spotted, or one that caught you, and what you'd want others to know;
  • the moment you knew you were ready, or knew you weren't;
  • trying an app, an event or a matchmaker for the first time;
  • something that went wrong and turned out fine.

Stories can be between 150 and 2,000 words. A title can be up to 80 characters. You don't need to be a writer. Write it the way you'd say it.

What we can't publish

To keep everyone safe, we can't publish a story that:

  • didn't happen to you, or that you didn't write yourself;
  • was written by an AI tool and presented as yours (it's fine to use a spell checker);
  • names another person in full, or shares their workplace, photo or contact details, without their consent;
  • includes phone numbers, email addresses, social media handles or links;
  • says something false about a real person who could be recognized;
  • is sexually explicit, hateful, threatening, or involves anyone under 18;
  • promotes a product, service or business;
  • was paid for, or written in return for anything.

If a story reads as if it was generated by AI, we may ask you a question about it. That's not an accusation. We just want to be sure every story on Datelyst is real.

The people in your story

Your story probably includes other people: an ex, a date, your kids, a friend. They didn't choose to be written about, so please protect them.

  • Change or leave out names. "My ex", "a man I met at a wine tasting" or a made-up first name all work.
  • Leave out details that would let someone who knows them recognize them, such as an unusual job, a street, or a small town plus a specific event.
  • Write about your own experience and feelings, rather than judging someone else's character.
  • If someone in the story could be hurt by it being public, think twice, or ask them first.

If we think a detail could identify someone, we'll suggest a change before publishing.

Your photo

A photo is optional. If you add one, it must be a photo of you, or of a place or a thing. Please don't send a photo of anyone else unless they've said yes. You must have the right to share it, so photos you took yourself are best. We accept JPG or PNG files up to 10 MB.

Your photo stays private until your story is published. We never pair a reader's story with an AI-made image or a photo of someone else.

What you agree to when you send a story

The story form asks you to tick four boxes:

  • This happened to me and I wrote it myself.
  • I'm 18 or over.
  • I have permission to share any photo I upload.
  • Datelyst may edit my story for length and clarity. I'll see the final version before it goes live.

You keep owning your story. You give us permission to publish the version you approve on Datelyst, feature it in our newsletter and on our own social media accounts, and make a share image from its title. We won't sell it, give it to anyone else, use it in paid ads, use it to train AI models, or use it to advertise Spark Twice (run by Datelyst's parent company) unless you give us separate written permission. Our terms of use have the formal wording.

If you work for Datelyst or for Spark Twice (run by Datelyst's parent company), are related to someone who does, or are a paying member of that matchmaking service, please tell us. We'll say so at the top of your story.

What happens after you send it

  1. Received. You get an email saying your story arrived. You can see its status on your account page at any time.
  2. In review. A person on our team reads it and checks it against these guidelines. Our editor may use an AI tool (Claude, made by Anthropic) to summarize it and check it against our rules. That means your story's title and text may be processed by Anthropic. Your email address isn't sent. A person makes every decision.
  3. Needs changes (sometimes). We may send you a short note asking for a change. You can edit your story from your account and send it back.
  4. Approved. We make light edits for length and clarity, then email you a preview of the final version. It goes live only after you press the button to agree. If you don't like an edit, tell us and we'll talk it through.
  5. Published. You get an email with the link. Your story shows the name, age, state and situation you chose, and the line: "A real story from a Datelyst reader. Shared with permission and lightly edited."
  6. Not accepted. If we can't publish it, we'll tell you why in a sentence or two. It's never a judgment of you or what you went through.

How we edit

We fix spelling, trim repetition, and sometimes shorten a long story or add a subheading. We may remove a detail that could identify someone else. We don't change what happened, add things you didn't say, or change your story's ending. You see every edit before anything goes live.

Taking your story down

You can ask us to remove your story at any time, for any reason, and you don't need to explain. Use your account page, or email [email protected] from the address you used to send it. It comes off Datelyst within 2 business days, we stop featuring it anywhere we control, and we delete it and its photo from our systems within 30 days.

One limit we have to be clear about: once a story is public, people may have shared it, newsletters that featured it have already gone out, and search engines, AI assistants and web archives may have copied it. We can't recall those copies. That's why we ask for a first name or pen name and no details you'd want kept private.

If you're in a story on Datelyst

If you think a story identifies you or says something untrue about you, email [email protected] with the link and what concerns you. We'll look at it promptly and may edit or remove the story while we do.

We never pay for stories

Writers are never paid or rewarded for a positive story. If we ever send a thank-you gift, every published writer gets the same one, whatever their story says, and the story will say so.

If you're going through something hard

Writing about a painful time can stir things up. If you're in danger, call 911. If you're in crisis, call or text 988. If you're afraid of a partner or an ex, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or text START to 88788. Our contact page lists more places to get help.

Questions about your story? Email [email protected].